Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
