some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
