i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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