I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we made out on top of his cat.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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