If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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