honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My bed smells like the plague
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
