last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Even my vagina gasped.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
