why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hippo gnu deer
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
