Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
