there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
