please come you make the beer taste better
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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