Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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