I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
