hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
