Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
And then he peed in my hair
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