Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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