you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
