im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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