That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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