the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
