Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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