I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
