I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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