How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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