I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
