Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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