This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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