using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize
