Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
