and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
