it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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