I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
