how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
