Jerry, you need to find god
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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