Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.

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(813): View more from Florida

i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.

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(949): View more from California

so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.

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(813): View more from Florida

They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.

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(418): View more from Quebec

Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?

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(315): View more from New York

Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?

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(314): View more from Missouri

GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS

(636): View more from Missouri

.........That big, huh?

(314): View more from Missouri

No. I would cut it off

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