I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
