Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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