Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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