Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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