hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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