How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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