My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
