Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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