evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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