I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Do vagina's smell?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
