what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
