Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
