dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
