Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
