3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
