I'm gonna have a badass scar
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
