Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
